Went to St. Francis, and performed Isha' prayer in the musolla. After the prayer, I stayed with the jamaah to listen for a tazkirah. I have to admit I don't understand the tazkirah at all, except the verses from the Quran being quoted by the Imam, because I don't know the local language. To make things even worse, the Imam was not using Tagalog, he preached in the tougue of native Muslims in Philippines, the one used in Mindanao.

After the tazkirah, I approached the Imam. His name is Najib. He explained to me about the tazkirah he gave in the musolla. He reminds all Muslims to be aware of some people who actually "use" Islam for personal gain. He even quoted a verse from surah al-Baqarah which mentions about the curse for those who try to make money by claiming his/her works are from Allah. Najib even added that the local (original) Muslims, the native people of the land, should make their fathers proud of them by being a good Muslim. There is a case where a new brother likes to debate with Christians, and even use Bible in his da'wah. According to Najib, who studied in Saudi Arabia, the action is wrong to convey the messages of Allah and ar-Rasul SAW through Bible, not through the verses from Quran or stories from Hadith. The sad thing is, the new Muslim even rallies for financial supports from the Muslim community. Not only that, he even sells CDs of his debates with Christians to earn money.

It is a reminder to all, true Muslims are good and kind people. We help people regardless of their true intention. But, Brother Najib tries to warn the Muslim community to take measures to correct this different way of thinking in doing da'wah. We should learn Quran, and preach to people using Quran, and let them judge and decide. We do not simply choose to debate with others, nor do we try to defame people of different faiths. Another brother, Yasir, was also around during my chat with Najib. Brother Yasir has just finished his study in an Islamic school, known as Darul-Hijra (in Bayu City? I'm not really sure what it is). I'm happy to learn that the Muslim community has an Islamic school.

The truth about Muslim community in Philippines, especially in Manila, is very sad. They used to be the owners of the land, explained by Brother Najib. The Christians were the workers. Today, I guess it is Allah's decision to test the local Muslim community, the land is owned by the Christians. Forty years ago, it was very hard to even see a Muslim trader in the building which we prayed our Isha' prayer. Alhamdu liLLAH, today, almost everyone who do the business on the ground floor are all Muslims. Can you imagine, Muslimahs in Manila are the apeks selling handphones, phone chargers and batteries. The best thing is, these people also sell pirated DVDs/VCDs. Well, what can we say, according to Brother Najib, some Muslims turn to be the bandits, and even join the military group struggling in Mindanao. It's the same, anywhere we go, we need to remind the people, don't let the said-to-be believers/followers of Islam to be the mirror of the Deen. Let the verses of Quran and Hadith be the true source of knowledge about Islam.

I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet Brother Najib. At least, I feel welcomed. Before I left, I said "sharoftu bima'rifatik" (nice to meet you) to Brother Najib. He replied "ana kadzaalik" (me too). He invited me to have our conversation in Arabic the next time we meet, something like "mumkin sanatakalallim bilughotil 'arobiyyah." What a shame, I had to tell him the truth, I rarely practice my Arabic. Lots of my Arabic vocab already got deleted (unintentionally). Brother Najib encourages me to start learning word by word, then phrase by phrase before I can understand the complete sentence. I guess need to restart somewhere.

I'm not the old me anymore, that's the fact.

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It's sad, something that I used to treasure. I can't say I made the wrong decision not to earn a degree in Arabic, everything has its own lesson/hikmah... I'm now at the starting line, once again... But, I haven't decide when to make another attempt...

Still searching for the light, although the opportunity was there, but missed it. Only tears would not be enough to erase the mistakes I have done. Feeling guilty that I can't stand as if I'm trapped.

People do what they do best. I do what I think I can do, while most of the time I failed to do what I planned to do. Up to a point, I guess the best I can do will be based on what I am allowed to do, depending on the situation and conditions. In other words, have to tawakkal, coz not all thing I want to do can be done without His permission. Seems like I always forget to say inshaAllah. How far I am from Him?

Had a chat with a Vietnamese friend, who says he believes not in God. Back in my mind, perhaps I can help to introduce the logic about the existence of the Creator. I keep thinking I can show him the reasoning. Again, things are not easily done than said. Once again, I failed. I forget, the hidayah is not from us, we show the (baiyinah) or the way. Whether someone sees the light, depends on Allah's mercy.

I need to turn off the light for tonight. Let my tears heal my heart, I need to repent for all the sins and mistakes I have done today and past days. May Allah forgive me.

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We always forget, what we do, what we say, what we blog will be judged. Pray that we all be guided. I pray the light will be sustained in me.

Selamat ulangtahun hari lahir buat isteri tersayang, moga hidup lebih diberkati dan dirahmati. Tiada yang dapat diucapkan melainkan terima kasih sayang di atas segala bantuan dan sokongan. Moga hidup ini lebih bermakna dan dipandu hidayah Ilahi.

Sama2 bersyukur di atas pemberianNya dan sama2 juga kita tempuhi hidup di sini sebelum hidup seterusnya.

I miss my wife so much... missing baby jihah too!

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1 week has passed, 3 more to go...

First entry of the year, after months and now into a new year. Even for this new year, had already passed a month.

Am typing this post in Manila, at Discovery Suite in Ortigas Center in Pasig City. Love the weather, not as warm as in Malaysia, but much better than Spring in Milwaukee. People here are nice, nicer than Malaysians, in term of treating visitors. Across the street there is a building call St. Francis, luckily I met with the President of the Muslim traders in the building. Surprisingly they also have a prayer room, which after almost a week I've arrived in Manila, at last my search for a prayer room has ended. Timezone is similar with Malaysia, but in term of sunrise and sunset, it's an hour earlier, in other words prayer time is also an hour earlier than in Malaysia.

Today, as usual, I cook for dinner. Had a hot fish fillet with rice, which is similar to previous days, 1 menu and rice. Lunch time is okay, there is a halal stall in ADB, prices are also cheaper. Since I can cook in the hotel, so food is not a problem at all. I only had 1 or 2 packets of maggi mee, still have about 5 packets, am not eating 'em for the time being.

Well, tomorrow there is class. Am actually missing my wife and my baby jihah. Anyway, I hope my wife will get the PGL tickets which I promise her, as a gift to the annual occasion which I am definitely going to miss, sad.. so sad. My baby jihah is getting cuter day by day, like mama like daughter hehe...

Jihah, say hello to the world...



Abah will stop writing here, coz Abah wants to read Japanese dictionary bought in National Bookstore in SM Megamall hours ago...

Have a good weekend, yo!


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Am planning to go to Greenhils for shopping... not really, coz there is a bigger Muslim community there, if not mistaken... anyway, congrats to Qusya but am sorry coz I won't be able to attend your walimah...