Friday, September 29, 2006

I was unhappy to learn that my camera's lens was broken. I took my own action to push the lens and I believe the problem fixed. But still the lens is now tilted to the right, as if the supporting item inside the camera was broken or misalligned. This had greatly reduced my motivation in photo taking, coz the camera is not 100 percent good for any session. I wish I could buy another camera, but I'd spent a lot for the one that I have now. Probably I need to spend some money to fix it. Which one will provide smaller opportunity cost to me? Hmmm...

My hardwork to keep things tidy and organized was also deteriorated since got back homecountry. I thought, I can better live my life here at home, but probably home is not sweet home like it used to be. I mean, there are so many people in this house, including an overenergetic todler, who I can't kick her though I feel like it. I love small kids, but I hate when they are too stubborn. Added with the urgency to rest with work pressure, I can't really control my temper, though the kid is stupid to understand words literally, who cares.

Could you be like my grandpa? He tested his blood pressure recently and made the doctor proud of him. I used to remember him as a smoking man, but things changed since he was hospitalized once in the past. Very badly, couldn't breath, so the only choice to send him to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days. But, the story about his blood pressure came as a surprise to young people like me. The doctor said he has normal blood pressure, like a very young man. Mom hypothesized that his transparency and frank talk probably provide him the solution to not keep things bottled inside. It made me think, I am used of telling "her" about things happened to me day-by-day, hopefully I won't have blood pressure. Health is something I treasure, but I don't think I'm practicing a good way of life good for my health. As I'd gained so much weight in the past 3 years, which hardly for me to cut 'em back. Stupid weight scale! Hoho... but to some people, they say I look fine with my current size since I'm not that shorty, so my physical fits with my height. But, you know, I don't feel healthy like I used to be. I can't stand being hungry like before. I kept dreaming about my old self, so easy to move around and less friction to the body. Even to sit on my knees and on my feet these days is quite uncomfortable, I believe some blood vessels are blocked when I do that. Stupid weight, should be stupid me...haiya...

Owh, my advice for the day, nothing is as easy as you wish. When you graduated from educational institution, and when you tasted the experience of being unemployed (forced/unwillingly), and when you got your job, you'll find out that nothing is not difficult. Hardship in life is what explain the meaning of being alive. Lastly, if you want to be a leader, do study Economics. Most people should know this, most leaders in Japan possess educational background in either Economics or Laws. That's why in the States, the say Economics prepares you a good background to further studies in the field of Laws. If you disagree, it's fine. It's your turn to argue the difference between developed and developing and less developed countries - politics, economy, culture, history, laws, geographical location, and so on. Let's think without thinking (read this book, "Blink," which shows you the way of thinking without thinking... I haven't read this book yet hoho, but I will find the book!)...


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I believe what my mom said is true, it's better to raise your kids with hardship, coz young generation nowadays they don't appreciate the meaning of life. That's why people below the poverty-line know better what does it mean to live life with your own 4-cut bone...

Thursday, September 28, 2006

have you ever visited 9.yahoo.com? I just tried. It showed me the 9 choices for Thursday, and one of them is the little malay girl singing anuar zain's song. the praise goes to the careographer, but who cares, the girl is cute when she sings the song. you haven't seen the video? go to youtube.com la buddy.

i know i should go to bed as i'm going to work tomorrow, but this is the only time i can put my fingers on the keyboard to blog. i'm aware that i can't really share everything coz censorship issue is very crucial nowadays since the government is trying to tap bloggers' activities, i know some people do complain this decision restrict the freedom to speech. but who cares right? as long as you can be responsible on your words, just go for it. if you got caught, don't point fingers to others, okay?

everything i sit at my place in the office, i feel really tired and sleepy, i'm not the only one having that symptom okay? but, i'm wondering if there is anything i can do other than reading funny emails, talking to colleagues and drinking radix in order to make me stay energetic and fresh for any work to come. it's only when my manager is around, i got no choice except to sit up straight and stop telling myself to close my eyes once in 10-15 minutes hoho.. i don't think i can solve this problem sooner since i'm always like this whenever i got reading assignments. i got to walk, to stand, and even to get some junkies to function myself for the tasks. otherwise, i believe to go back late will never be in my diary of working life. i wonder how do some people so energetic when facing their PCs the whole day. even my boss can stay back late until 11 pm? this is not life i wanted. then, a friend of mine told me if you earn a master, you'll be working until 10 pm everyday. i just don't get it, why? i know somebody with master qualification but he ain't staying at the office until late night, not even after 6 pm. but yes i know that guy had spent a night or two at the office due to assignment. ah who cares, the most important thing is how i make myself effective and efficient for the section where i belong. doing reading is actually fun, but it's not that fun when your eyes got sleepy, haiya.

okay la, i should wish you all a happy ramadhan. don't care la how good you fast, as long as you fulfill the task the best as you can, better or worse, you decide... i believe we all can compare and feel the difference between fasting in this year and the ramadhan of yesteryear. good luck with amal and ibadah. one of 4 people who is guaranteed to enter jannah is those who fast, so remember to fast, another person to enter jannah is the one who reads Quran in ramadhan, so remember try to read Quran as much as you can. even if you can join a tadarus group in your qariah every night after tarawih prayer, that is good enough to at least put yourself in the group that read Quran in this holy month. till then, ganbatte kudasai ne? jyaa

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watashi-wa nemui desu

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

sometimes, life is not as easy as you think it may looks like. a sweet in this temporal world could be a hell from the point of view of the outsiders. i'm talking about those who waste the time and the opportunity to learn and develop a life which is worth living. to some people, the question of objective in life is obscure but most people who have the will to seek of the goal in life will find that even the struggle to look for meaning in life itself is the part that makes your life worth living. if you can't enjoy the fight in giving values and meaning to your life, you actually failed to see that in anything you wanted to gain, there should be sacrifices and processes involved. even a movie has to be produced through the 'making' process. if the making is not there, how could you produce a product or good with values, to be enjoyed or to be appreciated?

how could you taste the life without having gone through the hardship? If you drink alcohol, that's not the way to escape from hardship, that's just cheating, you try to cheat yourself but it's not permanent. in a way you got intoxicated, but in the next moment you'll gain conciousness as if yesterday was not in the book of your life. so, if you haven't wake up and jump into the reality which involves hardship and uncertainties, you'll still at the losing end of the game.

if don't see this philosophy as a way to tell yourself that trying is the making process. even the participants in amazing race could answer this problem by simply saying, if we try our best, we'll get the prize in the end. if you can't see the final prize, you'll definitely realize that the whole race is worth experiencing, no matter how far you can go and how early you'll be left behind by others. but, the only one you want to prove about your ability and your toughness is to yourself, not to me, not to your spouse, but prove to yourself first that you can go up to this point, why not you step up for the future challenges to come.

i'm saying too much coz i'm having difficulties in staying at the point where i'm at right now. but some people do remind me that how hard others had tried to be at the point where i'm now, so i shouldn't waste this opportunity. to those people who wasted their lives, do reflect. i will do my best to upgrade and improve from time to time, but to you, if you choose to continue wasting your breathe, not my fault for not reminding you, it's all yours, to prove to yourself that your life is wasted. boo!

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If you can be up to the point where you are right now, why can't you go further to the place where it is much better? If you feel satisfied, you are not going anywhere. short-term will only bring you a step ahead, but long-term will probably bring you way beyond... don't be like Adam Sandler in his new movie "Click" coz no one is guaranteed that he is actually dreaming, don't wait for the dream to remind you, you can simulate everything at the back of your mind if you are wise, we should be at least wiser than before...

Monday, September 04, 2006

Basically, work and life should be balanced. But, some people complain about not having good pay while they work from early morning till late night. People like me will just say, I am not going to quit. All because of my pay and work hour are reasonable enough for entry level position, yet the tasks are way beyond my expectation. Who cares right? Only because I know how to comfort myself, shut up if you failed to make yourself smile inside.

A good way is to meet your buddies, better with someone who work with different employers or companies, coz you know what, I love to share or at least to get to know about environment in different work settings. I know, I rarely use my muscle to perform my assignments, as I only need good fingers and energetic eyes. It's hard too sometimes, mainly because you cannot perceive text as exciting as observing a sexy lady. What you have in your mind ha?

Met with a friend of mine who was my classmate during high school. Been a while, last time we met was about 3-4 years ago. Time passes without having us notice. I threw a smile, being proud for gaining some weight that makes me look like an obese adult haha, then we shook hands, both smiling as we both are not as skinny like we used to be during schooling time. Had a short chat at a mamak's stall. Got back home at around 9.00++ p.m. Wasn't so tired, as meeting a friend is a good time to have once in a while. We both are newbies in working world, of course there are lots of complaints and issues. But what the heck, we both are lucky to be given the opportunity to work without having to wait for a very long time, mine was less than 2 months of being unwillingly unemployed. Thank God, I'm working right now.

What should be next in the list? Something that start with E, after E ended then will be M time. Who knows what are both stand for? Don't ask me, ask... no buddy... hoho...

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I wonder whether someone is happily sleeping right now while I'm posting this... Sweet dreams, then! By the way, I'm predicting Japan to expand in Q3 though the CPI rose lower than expected and the IP for July had dropped... Japan is doing fine, I believe, nihonjin ganbatte ne!