Thursday, August 26, 2010

When people question you about your dedication to your work, you reacted unhappily. But, when you tell yourself you have not done enough, far less than enough, but you reacted to yourself saying "There is still more time."

Well, the hardest when it comes to leadership is to lead ourselves. We feel good only by judging our intention, not based on what we have done. But, when it comes to criticising others, we quickly judge their actions without understanding the real situation and the true intention. Guess, we are so good at leading our inner selves that we tend to ignore the fact that we have not achieve anything yet until we walk our talks.

I have been struggling to correct myself for too long. Sad thing, even in this Holy month of Ramadhan I failed to persevere. I prove to myself that I failed for another chance in Ramadhan. Guide me ya Rabb, guide me to love loving You, guide me to love those who love You, and guide me to love all actions which make me closer to loving You.

Not all jokes. Jokes but filled with sarcasm. That's the style. Well, I had to leave half way. The reminder given by al-Ustaz Ismail Kamus really touches all hearts. The funny stories to entertain listeners after 20-rakaat long tarawih. But the message is clear, the heart is created to "love" the Creator. Thus, remembrance of the Creator will calm the heart. In prayer alone, we will recite the word "Allah" for so many times. In the iftitah prayer, in the recitation of surah al-Faatihah, in between movements in the prayer, even during salaam when we end our prayer. If that fails to calm the heart, then ask for a different heart (I can't recall the name of the person who said this, mentioned by al-Ustaz in his session hours ago).

Guide me ya Allah, give me Your hidaayah that one day I can fully correct myself.

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In the department today, people say there is a problem with education system. But, I think the biggest problem is the heart. Heart is nearing death, not watered with zikruLLAH. How can we learn to improve ourselves if we keep making the mistake again and again. That's why we can't see the light, so far but we have the best tool given to us, we PRAY.