Still searching for the light, although the opportunity was there, but missed it. Only tears would not be enough to erase the mistakes I have done. Feeling guilty that I can't stand as if I'm trapped.

People do what they do best. I do what I think I can do, while most of the time I failed to do what I planned to do. Up to a point, I guess the best I can do will be based on what I am allowed to do, depending on the situation and conditions. In other words, have to tawakkal, coz not all thing I want to do can be done without His permission. Seems like I always forget to say inshaAllah. How far I am from Him?

Had a chat with a Vietnamese friend, who says he believes not in God. Back in my mind, perhaps I can help to introduce the logic about the existence of the Creator. I keep thinking I can show him the reasoning. Again, things are not easily done than said. Once again, I failed. I forget, the hidayah is not from us, we show the (baiyinah) or the way. Whether someone sees the light, depends on Allah's mercy.

I need to turn off the light for tonight. Let my tears heal my heart, I need to repent for all the sins and mistakes I have done today and past days. May Allah forgive me.

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We always forget, what we do, what we say, what we blog will be judged. Pray that we all be guided. I pray the light will be sustained in me.