Struggling with Ramadhan this year. Had the chance to attend a tazkirah at surau, conducted everyday by the Muslim workers' soc. Today's topic is about Lailatu al-Qadr, the night of 1000 months of rewards, which according to the speaker the bonus of the year provided by Allah. Usually we complain for having lesser bonus compared to others. So, for dunya we shout louder, but why do we strive half-heartedly for the bonus in Ramadhan? I ask myself, I gave so much time for work. So I struggle now to catch up, even my tilawah is stuck at juzuk no. 17. Tonight is already the 23rd night, how slow I am this year.
I have not burn myself, so how do I get burnt getting out of the holy month of ramadhan (burning)? I should add more woods and gas. A week more to go, will I make it?
Things that I learn this year,
a) I am today a father, so my time is split for more than 3 roles: a son to my parents, a husband to my beautiful wife, a father to my cute baby girl, a worker (too much on dunyawi and secular), a servant struggling to talk with God. For putting too much time for work, I nearly forgot how much I contributed to my mom every month. So, I hate to be told to do something, and cost me my time to enjoy ramadhan. whole last week had to bring back works, and sleep late, not to mention went back home late and had to break fast on way back home. Although with lots of responsibilities, still managed to cover most of 'em (tho admit struggling with time/focus management). You won't be burdened by things you are not able to carry.
b) Intention is most important. Though I can't read the Quran as fast as in past ramadhans, I should tell myself everyday, I go to work as an ibadah. Not because of me my family can survive, it is because of Allah I am able to walk and earn some money as a means to contribute to the people I love most, parents, wife, daughter and siblings.
c) Eat less gives you more energy. Today, I ate lesser portion. I feel fresh, enjoy my tarawih after a bloody week of work day and night. As I had done my presentation today, I went back home with the goal to go to surau and perform the tarawih bil-jamaah (at last). Decided not to eat rice, only bites of not my favorite munchies and a plastic bag of milo (wife belanja, thanks love!). So, eat less more energy, reminds the Quranic verse, don't drink from the river except just a sip. Those fell for the temptation failed to continue the journey (refer to war between Thaalut and Jaalut). Amazing!
d) You don't find but you get it. This is not just from the tazkirah I attended, but this is what I need to tell myself. For whatever we strive for, don't be so sure that we will find it, just strive that one day we will get it. Remember to say inshaAllah (don't say you will do a thing tomorrow/soon without saying inshaAllah). I thought I will not even pass 15th juzuk for this year's ramadhan, but I made it now at 17th juzuk. I don't force myself to find it, but I just continue reading without I realising, this year I feel that I can read better. It feels good to know that I can still read, with some understanding of the meanings, although I spent too little time reciting the Quran during months outside ramadhan. I am so grateful, feels like a miracle, another thing achieved without finding it. No more path finder, enjoying the walk.
-the ustaz told during tazkirah, you don't find night of Qadr, but you get/earn it by qiyam every night of the final 10 nights in ramadhan.
-a funny story, a boy (who is lazy praying and only aim to ask for wealth) waited every odd nights with a small tree and a bucket of water to see if the tree may bow or the water to freeze (based on rumors of the signs of the night of Qadr). until one night, the signs still didn't materialise, but he saw so many people wearing white cloths/robes, he thought it might be the angels. he chased and hugged a man in white cloth and shouted "Aku nak kaya." Then the man said, "Tunggu esok saja, nanti esok restoran buka kasi mau datang, kaya ada roti ada dal pun ada." So, the man is not an angel, just a mamak restaurant owner. So, you don't find but you just do it and you will inshaAllah earn it without knowing.
e) and many more...
Other interesting things raised during tazkirah:
- perform 8 rakaat of tarawih after isyak, then come back around 2-3am to finish 12 more rakaat. this is done in Yemen, and also done by Tuan Guru Nik Ajiz.
- you do qiyam at night for a short time, either half of the night or less then add with reading the Quran. even if you perform tarawih it is qiyam for the night, people always misinterpret qiyam with ibadah around 2-3 am. It is true that to wake up the last 1/3 of the night is afdhal al-waqt, the best time for qiyam. But, if you think some scholars do encouraged to do qiyam the remaining 2/3 of the night, considered the best time. So, ustaz said the last 2/3 of the night started around 10-11, but it's already sleepy hours for many. That's why ceramah can only last up to 9 pm, the most 930. if it goes beyond that, the makmum will complain. But in Yemen, Ramadhan is celebrated differently (1 example is mentioned above). Plus, you are also paid to do qiyam for the final 10 nights of ramadhan (paid for participating the ibadah camp for the last 1/3 of the holy month).
Owh God, I'm sleepy. Do I have the strength to continue my reading beyond the 17th juzuk?
_____________________
Enjoy a week more of burning month! Read an interesting tazkirah, try to talk more with Allah, make it a habit to talk with Allah in solitude, tell him all the good and bad things you are facing and struggling. InshaAllah, the habit will form a close bond between you and your Creator. what a wonderful advice. remember, Abraham or Ibrahim AS is khalilu Allah...what about us?
I have not burn myself, so how do I get burnt getting out of the holy month of ramadhan (burning)? I should add more woods and gas. A week more to go, will I make it?
Things that I learn this year,
a) I am today a father, so my time is split for more than 3 roles: a son to my parents, a husband to my beautiful wife, a father to my cute baby girl, a worker (too much on dunyawi and secular), a servant struggling to talk with God. For putting too much time for work, I nearly forgot how much I contributed to my mom every month. So, I hate to be told to do something, and cost me my time to enjoy ramadhan. whole last week had to bring back works, and sleep late, not to mention went back home late and had to break fast on way back home. Although with lots of responsibilities, still managed to cover most of 'em (tho admit struggling with time/focus management). You won't be burdened by things you are not able to carry.
b) Intention is most important. Though I can't read the Quran as fast as in past ramadhans, I should tell myself everyday, I go to work as an ibadah. Not because of me my family can survive, it is because of Allah I am able to walk and earn some money as a means to contribute to the people I love most, parents, wife, daughter and siblings.
c) Eat less gives you more energy. Today, I ate lesser portion. I feel fresh, enjoy my tarawih after a bloody week of work day and night. As I had done my presentation today, I went back home with the goal to go to surau and perform the tarawih bil-jamaah (at last). Decided not to eat rice, only bites of not my favorite munchies and a plastic bag of milo (wife belanja, thanks love!). So, eat less more energy, reminds the Quranic verse, don't drink from the river except just a sip. Those fell for the temptation failed to continue the journey (refer to war between Thaalut and Jaalut). Amazing!
d) You don't find but you get it. This is not just from the tazkirah I attended, but this is what I need to tell myself. For whatever we strive for, don't be so sure that we will find it, just strive that one day we will get it. Remember to say inshaAllah (don't say you will do a thing tomorrow/soon without saying inshaAllah). I thought I will not even pass 15th juzuk for this year's ramadhan, but I made it now at 17th juzuk. I don't force myself to find it, but I just continue reading without I realising, this year I feel that I can read better. It feels good to know that I can still read, with some understanding of the meanings, although I spent too little time reciting the Quran during months outside ramadhan. I am so grateful, feels like a miracle, another thing achieved without finding it. No more path finder, enjoying the walk.
-the ustaz told during tazkirah, you don't find night of Qadr, but you get/earn it by qiyam every night of the final 10 nights in ramadhan.
-a funny story, a boy (who is lazy praying and only aim to ask for wealth) waited every odd nights with a small tree and a bucket of water to see if the tree may bow or the water to freeze (based on rumors of the signs of the night of Qadr). until one night, the signs still didn't materialise, but he saw so many people wearing white cloths/robes, he thought it might be the angels. he chased and hugged a man in white cloth and shouted "Aku nak kaya." Then the man said, "Tunggu esok saja, nanti esok restoran buka kasi mau datang, kaya ada roti ada dal pun ada." So, the man is not an angel, just a mamak restaurant owner. So, you don't find but you just do it and you will inshaAllah earn it without knowing.
e) and many more...
Other interesting things raised during tazkirah:
- perform 8 rakaat of tarawih after isyak, then come back around 2-3am to finish 12 more rakaat. this is done in Yemen, and also done by Tuan Guru Nik Ajiz.
- you do qiyam at night for a short time, either half of the night or less then add with reading the Quran. even if you perform tarawih it is qiyam for the night, people always misinterpret qiyam with ibadah around 2-3 am. It is true that to wake up the last 1/3 of the night is afdhal al-waqt, the best time for qiyam. But, if you think some scholars do encouraged to do qiyam the remaining 2/3 of the night, considered the best time. So, ustaz said the last 2/3 of the night started around 10-11, but it's already sleepy hours for many. That's why ceramah can only last up to 9 pm, the most 930. if it goes beyond that, the makmum will complain. But in Yemen, Ramadhan is celebrated differently (1 example is mentioned above). Plus, you are also paid to do qiyam for the final 10 nights of ramadhan (paid for participating the ibadah camp for the last 1/3 of the holy month).
Owh God, I'm sleepy. Do I have the strength to continue my reading beyond the 17th juzuk?
_____________________
Enjoy a week more of burning month! Read an interesting tazkirah, try to talk more with Allah, make it a habit to talk with Allah in solitude, tell him all the good and bad things you are facing and struggling. InshaAllah, the habit will form a close bond between you and your Creator. what a wonderful advice. remember, Abraham or Ibrahim AS is khalilu Allah...what about us?
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