You know, I'm addressing to myself.. actually, you can learn new things every day and every single moment in your life. I was last night about to sleep when someone asked me a matter which I suppose to be clear enough to that person. I was nearly asleep, not really, maybe still far from being asleep... but still I was not comfortable enough to attend to such question not because it was so late at night, or should I say very early in the morning.. It's just because I feel disgusted to such behavior... just hate that kind of characteristic, which I think to myself whether I have 'em or not coz I sometimes forgot about myself when condemning a certain action/behavior...
It's just that it made me realize how the Prophet warned us for not questioning too much. But, my case it's not about being question so many times, it's just that how careless and uninformed is a person could be when he has different concentration and focus in life... it's fine for the first time being asked, but if it is asked and questioned again, I know how uncomfortable it makes... I just could not help if the behavior is not mine... but still, we live in a world surrounded by so many kinds of people, but to certain extent it is unacceptable for those who are involved but left without update...
It has been a while this feeling inhabited in my body. Back when I was in high school, so many questions were thrown at me, even at the moment I don't feel like answering... the reason is that "You normally have something in your mind," or, "I think you are resourceful." I'm sick... sick because I'm not well taught and well informed... but I'm more sick when others keep good ideas in their mind... It was during my presence at the ISR last month, I just could not feel at ease to keep quiet just because I saw the speaker questioned but unanswered... I felt like talking one-on-one with the speaker... it was a reminiscence of things that I hate most, being a group that majority is quiet and passive... it doesn't feel right, I don't know why... probably I sensed unproductive atmosphere... to sit at such occasion and to attend with that kind of audience, it is so demotivating...
Sometimes, back in my mind I like to shout... just because I could not stand living... but to be like Japanese classical author by killing themselves as a sign of remorse to the kind of living they pursue is not a path that I think feasible as a Muslim... it is only that I wanted to be free from such environment... yet, whenever you go the life you have is hunting (and hauting) you... this really reminds me of the book that I finished last 2 days about how a man being trapped in a hole where he involuntarily being thrown into that kinda situation... still when he had the choice to run away from the situation, he decided to stay... it is absurd but it is life... to some people, you are brave enough to decide and to share things in your mind... but to some people, you prefer to keep it a secret from your parents and significant others but not to yourself.. so, life is basically like a jail... we are all being thrown here in this world and could not escape...though you think death is a possible solution, but it is actually not... only atheist and anyone who does not believe in the hereafter might back the opposing saying, yes it is. But, when you realized you could choose to day, don't be afraid to endure pain and agony, bunch of honey is waiting for you at the end of the road, what are we talking about? Maybe you are carefree and not meticulous that makes you keeping yourself uninformed, it's annoying!
Be independent and dependent... no it should not be one-way, be more interdependent.... that should do... if you still have a mindset, "If others don't do, I won't do it," hell yeah you are good enough based on your belief and principle of your own life, ain't ya? If I don't have anyone to be with me, I won't go... if I don't have someone to be my company, I'm not confident to be by myself, isn't it like that? But, that's not interdependent... that is selfish for being too dependent... you know, life is not only for you to live happily and selfishly... open up your heart... even Natasha Beddingfield knows better that there are so many things unwritten... even Kelly Clarkson said, "Walk away!?!?" If you think you are incompetent, cease from being! Cease completely from existence, that would do good for you and for others... Think for a moment, if your family wants to depend on you, it's good and very fine... if you significant others want to depend on you, glad enough to offer helping hands... but when so many people wants to depend on you, what will you say if you have unwilling heart? You should at least learn how to attend to your emotion in order for you to offer good tidings and helps to other with good intention... but, I know, sometimes people could not stop being too dependent, and especially because they don't feel confident with themselves... that's me for sure... what about me?
_____________
it's just because... ah, I should attend to my suit... I need to prepare for the dinner with the minister of Science and Tech... you know who, I believe...
It's just that it made me realize how the Prophet warned us for not questioning too much. But, my case it's not about being question so many times, it's just that how careless and uninformed is a person could be when he has different concentration and focus in life... it's fine for the first time being asked, but if it is asked and questioned again, I know how uncomfortable it makes... I just could not help if the behavior is not mine... but still, we live in a world surrounded by so many kinds of people, but to certain extent it is unacceptable for those who are involved but left without update...
It has been a while this feeling inhabited in my body. Back when I was in high school, so many questions were thrown at me, even at the moment I don't feel like answering... the reason is that "You normally have something in your mind," or, "I think you are resourceful." I'm sick... sick because I'm not well taught and well informed... but I'm more sick when others keep good ideas in their mind... It was during my presence at the ISR last month, I just could not feel at ease to keep quiet just because I saw the speaker questioned but unanswered... I felt like talking one-on-one with the speaker... it was a reminiscence of things that I hate most, being a group that majority is quiet and passive... it doesn't feel right, I don't know why... probably I sensed unproductive atmosphere... to sit at such occasion and to attend with that kind of audience, it is so demotivating...
Sometimes, back in my mind I like to shout... just because I could not stand living... but to be like Japanese classical author by killing themselves as a sign of remorse to the kind of living they pursue is not a path that I think feasible as a Muslim... it is only that I wanted to be free from such environment... yet, whenever you go the life you have is hunting (and hauting) you... this really reminds me of the book that I finished last 2 days about how a man being trapped in a hole where he involuntarily being thrown into that kinda situation... still when he had the choice to run away from the situation, he decided to stay... it is absurd but it is life... to some people, you are brave enough to decide and to share things in your mind... but to some people, you prefer to keep it a secret from your parents and significant others but not to yourself.. so, life is basically like a jail... we are all being thrown here in this world and could not escape...though you think death is a possible solution, but it is actually not... only atheist and anyone who does not believe in the hereafter might back the opposing saying, yes it is. But, when you realized you could choose to day, don't be afraid to endure pain and agony, bunch of honey is waiting for you at the end of the road, what are we talking about? Maybe you are carefree and not meticulous that makes you keeping yourself uninformed, it's annoying!
Be independent and dependent... no it should not be one-way, be more interdependent.... that should do... if you still have a mindset, "If others don't do, I won't do it," hell yeah you are good enough based on your belief and principle of your own life, ain't ya? If I don't have anyone to be with me, I won't go... if I don't have someone to be my company, I'm not confident to be by myself, isn't it like that? But, that's not interdependent... that is selfish for being too dependent... you know, life is not only for you to live happily and selfishly... open up your heart... even Natasha Beddingfield knows better that there are so many things unwritten... even Kelly Clarkson said, "Walk away!?!?" If you think you are incompetent, cease from being! Cease completely from existence, that would do good for you and for others... Think for a moment, if your family wants to depend on you, it's good and very fine... if you significant others want to depend on you, glad enough to offer helping hands... but when so many people wants to depend on you, what will you say if you have unwilling heart? You should at least learn how to attend to your emotion in order for you to offer good tidings and helps to other with good intention... but, I know, sometimes people could not stop being too dependent, and especially because they don't feel confident with themselves... that's me for sure... what about me?
_____________
it's just because... ah, I should attend to my suit... I need to prepare for the dinner with the minister of Science and Tech... you know who, I believe...
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